Obviously he needs to start hitting her

I'm raging drunk again and I've seen an advert on TV which has pissed me off. It's one of the Uncle Ben's instant rice bag or some bullshit, either way I need to divert my undivided and unequaled hatred towards it.

It shows the chef in a very busy kitchen working like a Japanese prisoner of war, sweating, stressing, working, yelling and getting frustrated. He then finishes work and he's going home by subway I think I've momentarily forgotten due to intense alcoholism but it's not important. He looks really exhausted, obviously he's been working his arse off all day, he must want to go home and sleep like a baby. Well guess what, his lazy bitch of a wife won't allow that happen.

When he reaches his destination home he's in the kitchen again looking tired making some salmon fillets for her, he microwaves the bag and magically has some pilaf or whatever shite they have in the bags. Once he's finished making the meal he proceeds to the living room where his lazy fat bitch wife is, shes reclined on the sofa looking like shes just woken up covered by a blanket. What the fuck? Why couldn't she fucking make her husband something to eat after such an enduring day at work?! Is she some kind of drug addict who's smacked out of her head all day long?

This guy was working hard all day in a kitchen and his whore of a wife couldn't be arsed to make him some dinner? He obviously needs to start hitting her, woman are like old carpets they need beatings every once in a while to keep in order, thats what my father always used to say, and he always used to stay true to that word if my mother forgot to do that washing or didn't have dinner ready by the time he had got home from a tough day at work, he'd always stamp on her head several times and head butt her to help knock some sense into the bitch.

I mean what do you think this useless wife gets up to all day? Watching the home shopping network all day spending all of her husbands hard earned cash probably.

Something is definitely wrong here.

Here some advice of what this guy should do. The only reason why anyone would want to own such a creature is to stop the beers from getting warm, so make her do that.


Husband: Hi honey I'm home... what a crap day at work, Marie-Jacques the dirty dish washer managed to ruin my curry! French bastard... thought he could put out a grease fire with just water! God I'm hungry, whats for dinner?

Wife: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........snore......snort........

Husband: You fucking bitch! she's gone into the spirits cabinet again! My mates were correct, I never should have married the useless slut. WAKE UP SLUT

Wife: Wah! ...huh... *yawn* oh hi dear, you home?

Husband: Damn it you bitch, wheres my dinner?

Wife: You know where the kitchen is, why are you asking me?

Husband: Right thats it fuck you -slaps the shit out of her and head butts her- now, where the fuck is my dinner?

Wife: Booo hooo sob sob what do you want to eat?

Husband: Make me Roast Loin of Venison with Cranberries and plenty of mashed potatoes bitch, and grab me a fucking beer. And it would fukin help if you cleaned up this place once every while. Wipe those shit stains off the carpet now bitch or you'll be doing it with your tongue a little later on.


Wife: I...I'll get right on it.


Husband: Fucking better do whore!

See. That's how you handle that sort of thing. Simple and straight forward.